Your occasional dose of cynicism and randomness.

When Scary Papa babysits...

Playing Favorites

Thanks, Jon.

'nuff said.

More politics..

As the far right out there continue to complain that we're all going to end up in a socialist country (and I've made the comment myself), I'm seeing lots of propaganda out there. I stumbled across this article written a year ago on that had this line:

What these people don't seem to understand is that the majority of those "astounding technological advancements" came as a result of war! Don't believe me? Let's name a few:

microprocessors (Used by pretty much anything with a "brain", including computers, watches, gps, cat scans, cell phones,

"A genuine socialist democracy would put the ingenuity and astounding technological advancements of recent history to use for the improvement of human society, not its destruction."

Almost Famous...

moosebutter is getting quite a bit of attention lately thanks to a new YouTube video. I love the attention that it's getting, but my jealous nature also wishes the group had a little more recognition for the song, as opposed to all the people who think the poster sang it. (I'm not on the recording, so I really shouldn't care, right?)

A sight for sore eyes

I posted in my Halloween post about getting contacts. Now, I don't intend to replace my glasses. I generally don't mind wearing them, and I think I look good in glasses. There are times, however, that contacts would be really convenient. So I went and got some.

Even though I don't intend to wear them all the time, I figure that I do need to take the time to get used to them, so I've been wearing them as much as I can stand lately.

Unfortunately, that isn't much.

My eyes itch non stop! I know I'm not supposed to rub them, but I can't seem to help it. Putting drops in my eyes only makes it better for a few minutes.

At this point, my eyes are red and raw. My left eyelid is painful to the touch. I've only had these things for a week, and I'm still trying to build up my tolerance to them, but I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Anyone else go through contact trouble? Any advice?


On the day after the Election, I offer you this IM conversation between me and Joel, regarding his job interview yesterday:

jarjackson: Good morning, comrade. I trust that your day is productive and fruitful. Remember that to work is to feed the masses. Glory to the republic.
jarjackson: How was your assessment?
Joel Hiller: Glory to the Republic! The Employment Minister will of course determine which occupation suits me, and then allow me the same living allowance as everyone else.
jarjackson: Excellent, the Glorious Republic no doubt will chose perfectly. Is there any indication of the Minister's decision?
Joel Hiller: This conveniently eliminates the needless, unfair practice of competition. The Minister indicated it will only be 2 or 3 years before a decision is reached, so I feel especially fortunate.
Joel Hiller: There are multiple options for the Minister to choose from.
jarjackson: Of course, the Republic can no longer sustain unfair practices, such as religion, which only allows some to attain rewards. The Minister's wisdom is unmatched, and until such a time as his decision is reached, you are welcome to starve with your family under my porch, as long as the Secret Service doesn't find you.
Joel Hiller: A most kind and generous offer, comrade
Joel Hiller: I am most honored to starve with my family, so long as there are other comrades who do not wish to work. After all, it is only fair that I shoulder my share of the burden.
jarjackson: ... i'm turning this into a blog post.
Joel Hiller: Awesome

Happy Halloween!

Ok, as a disclaimer, I can't see out of my right eye at the moment, which makes reading text on the screen difficult. No making fun of my spelling (this means you, Joel!).

A couple of weeks ago, Mom, Dad, and I took my nieces and nephews to the Scarecrow Festival. While we were there, we got our faces painted, and the girl there did an awesome job of painting me up like the Joker. I decided to use that as my Halloween costume, instead of my traditional pirate.

So Joel and I hit up a bunch of thrift stores, found women's jackets to turn into green vests, and I bought a purple over-jacket. Daniel came over and helped me get a wig ready. Using some YouTube videos and pictures of Heath Ledger, I practiced doing the makeup a few times, and put everything together. I used some stuff called Rigid Collodial to do the scars, it's awesome.

Now, I also had to go pick up my first pair of contacts this morning. I put on everything but the makeup and the wig (I had the scars) and went. While the woman there was showing me how to put the lenses in, she had to go help with a fussy kid. Apparently she didn't wash all the dilating solution off, and it got in my right contact....

So I get home, and one eye is HUGE compared to the other. (This is why I can barely see out of it). It's nice and creepy, though, and most people notice something is wrong with my eyes, but can't tell what unless I point it out.

I put on the rest of the makeup and headed to work, where we have our annual costume contest. Unfortunately, I lost the $200 prize by ONE vote. To these guys.

(They're bee henchmen from the cartoon "The Venture Bros")

Oh well, I still have the best costume I've ever done. Happy Halloween, everyone!

Tagged again

I'm sure Christa tagged me because I never update this thing, but here we go...

8 Favorite TV shows:
1. The Office
2. Heroes
3. Mythbusters
4. Futurama
5. Scrubs
6. House
7. Monk
8. Law & Order (any variant)

8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Wendy's (fast food counts, dangit)
2. Panda Express
3. The Melting Pot (mostly for dessert)
4. Cafe Rio (go go Pork Barbacoa!)
5. Gandolfo's
6. Spaghetti Mama's
7. Denny's (at 3 am)
8. Subway

8 things that happened yesterday:

1. I slept through my alarm
2. I bought an eyepatch to add to my perpetual pirate costume
3. I convinced the CEO to buy me a new iPod cable, since he stole mine
4. I spent 2 hours at lunch watching "The Office" with my team
5. I watched 3 new episodes of Red vs Blue
6. I couldn't see Heroes on Monday, but I recorded it, so I watched that.
7. At night, I record songs myself on my computer. It's a little lame, but I have fun arranging stuff. I finished the last verse backup vocals to "Tongue Tied".
8. I couldn't sleep, so I watched Donnie Darko on demand until about 2am

(wow, there's a lot of "I watched" in there... how exciting am I?)

8 things to look forward to:

1. Cali trip in November. Booked tickets today!
2. Getting my own home
3. Cancun in January, if certain people don't wimp out on me
4. Getting off the IT team completely
5. Being debt-free
6. Finding a girl who can stand me enough to want to marry me
7. Taking a couple days off next week "just because"
8. Kids. I freaking love my nieces and nephews and can't wait to really grow up and have my own.

8 things I love about Fall:

1. It's not hot, it's not cold. I love the temperature
2. Driving to work in the morning when it isn't dark, but it isn't bright
3. Football
4. Not minding having to wear shoes instead of flip-flops
5. Using my heated seats in my car
6. New seasons of my favorite shows
7. I usually do some kind of "fall cleaning", usually because I'm too busy in spring
8. Dressing up like a pirate every stinking Halloween :)

8 things on my wishlist:

1. '69 Stingray Corvette
2. A new desk chair. This one is falling apart.
3. A recording studio
4. The girl mentioned above
5. A monkey butler
6. To find my fondue pot
7. More hard drive space for my movies. (I've almost filled up my terabyte!)
8. Jenna Fischer (take THAT, Christa!)

I'm not gonna do the second tag just now. (hey, why waste another post?)
OK.... Jim/Marie, Amy, Loni, Luke.. I dub thee "tagged"


September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Here's my pirate name:

Bloody William Rackham

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

I've decided to do something here that I call "Don't Anger the People who Control Your Technology". I've had many instances where this line comes to me, and one happened today.

First, I must set the stage: I put in over 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday to get about 200 computers ready for a new deployment to our sales floor. Yesterday, my team was here until midnight getting them on desktops and plugging them in.
(So I'm already overworked and cranky)

Today, the sales people were supposed to be off the sales floor from noon to three. We decided to use this time to get each machine ready for use. We log in, make sure everything works, and leave it ready for them to log in.

We're chugging along, and I sit at one desk, and the girl who sits there runs up. "Hey, dude. I have a call at exactly 2 o'clock, so you'd better be out of that seat." (Ok, I'm cranky, but she was flat out rude. Sorry I'm using my lunch hour to set up your new computer, jerk)

I look at my watch. It's ten to two. I decide not to push it and walk away. I do notice on her phone that her name is S. Hunt. (the phones talk to a server that gets the person's name)

At this point, I have half a mind to do a software reboot on her phone at around 2:08, so she loses the sale, but I decide to be nice.

I go back to my desk and tell some of my friends what happened, and one suggests I change her name to a dirty word. (changing the name does a reboot on the phone, too)

I wonder how much that sale was worth to her.....

Members Only

Ok, I have to address a rising trend I'm seeing in the blogging world: Invite-only blogs. Blogger has an option where only people you invite are allowed to read your blog. Many of my friends have started doing this, meaning that I have to sign in to get updates.

Why are we doing this. Are you so afraid of letting the world see what you write? Are you so vain that you think your high school stalker might find it and use it to track you down? Are you actually in the Witness Relocation Program?

And don't comment on this giving me crap about spam comments, either. You can turn on comment management so that only the comments you choose actually get posted.

Me, I know that probably 3 or 4 people actually read this thing, and if you're not one of those (semi) regulars, I still don't care.


What he said about the date:
She gave me a look that either said “I’m confused and offended” or “I’m just seconds away from ripping my pants off.
” [It should be noted that this is the look that, in my mind, every woman everywhere constantly wears on her face at all times.]

What she said about the date:
"He kept staring at my forehead and it was really creepy"

I owe the male comment to, but it is still true, nonetheless.


I sail. I'm a sailor. Do you sail? I sail.
(I told Jim that being able to say that was the only reason I got on that canoe with a pole attached with him)

Jim and Marie invited me up to the cabin at Hebgen Lake last week. It is awesome up there.

I spent most of my time on the porch, avoiding mosquitoes and enjoying the perfect 70 degree weather while reading. I finished a whole book in 3 days.

The kids were a lot of fun. Luckily, I had earplugs with me for those early morning romps.

Hahaha! Bugs cannot penetrate my fortress!

We also celebrated Jim's birthday. Marie is an awesome cook, and all the meals were great!

Laine does her Jer impression

They made me eat the candles because I ate all the enchiladas.

The staple incident

Yes, it really happened.
Yes, I've seen Get Smart.
No, it didn't hurt.
No, I won't explain why.
If you ask what was going through my head at the time, I might kill you.

Are you a twit, too?

With the recent technological social additions in my life, someone asked me if I have a Twitter page. Now, for those of you who don't know what Twitter is, think of a blog with posts one sentence long, that you post to several times a day to let people know what you're thinking.

An example of my "tweets" (I think they should be called "twits") today would be something like this:

Lunch time, time to goof around on the internet and eat Wendy's again. 1:43 PM July 31, 2008
Who the hell put the dead snake on the lobby floor? 11:50 AM July 31, 2008
Internet broke again... boss is ticked.. 11:17 AM July 31, 2008 sent from txt
Counted three people on the second floor wearing tracking anklets. 10:27 AM July 31, 2008
GET OUT OF THE FAST LANE, IDIOT! 8:12 AM July 31, 2008 sent from txt

(By the way, every one of those is true.. times are approximate)

So, my question is, why? I have enough trouble finding interesting stuff to BLOG about, let alone update every 20 minutes. Who reads this crap? Also, whoever put the snake in the lobby PUT IT BACK after we got rid of it...

Happy Canada Day!

That's right. It's Canada Day. I order you all to eat Kraft Dinner, Play hockey, and smoke legal pot all day. GO!

Welcome to the 21st Century....

So, we all know I'm a techno-junkie, but there are a few things I've held out against. I still do avoid many of them, because they're evil, (cough - myspace - cough) but there are two that I've recently given in to:

Text messaging
I've never been against text messaging per se, but I never understood those that would text all day. I'm starting to get it. I've sent more texts in the last two weeks than I have in the last two years. There's something fun about having a conversation with friends over the course of a day while at work. I also find that I'm much more witty in these texts than I am in person.

I know, I know. I told you all to stay away from it. I told you I'd never do it. When one of my old roommates saw me on there, he said: "Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa. This is blowing my mind! Jeremiah Jackson on a social networking site rife with possible viruses! .. I think I felt my brain just break."
Yeah, well. I decided that Facebook, while having the potential of being as evil as MySpace, isn't actually evil, and potential is not enough to judge something. After all, I have the potential to go to Hell, yet I still hope people treat me like a good person. And I was sick of everyone being on there and not me.

So yes, Jer has joined the masses using this techno-stuff. Hope I don't have to call support to figure out how to use it... maybe I'll ask Jon

Judi's Tag

A little, late, but this is for my big sis:

3 joys
1. Sleeping in
2. Unexpected calls from friends
3. Trying something new, especially food I haven’t had before

3 fears
1. Remaining single past 30
2. Clowns
3. Chuck Norris Quotes

3 goals
1. I want to retire a millionaire
2. Raise a family
3. Learn to skydive

3 current obsessions/collections
1. Hats. It’s died down, but I have an extensive hat collection.
2. Movies. Gotta go with Judi on this one. Love movies.
3. Music. I’m working hard to actually organize my huge music collection.

3 random surprising facts about me
1. I can’t distinguish most shades of yellow from white
2. I like to photoshop pictures of my workmates to look like superheroes
3. I can whistle four ways: through my teeth, through my tongue, through my lips, and through my nose.

I think I've worn out my welcome on tags, so I'm not tagging anyone with this.


I watched Much Ado About Nothing last night with some friends. This made me think of the last post:

One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well;
but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be,
that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look
on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent
musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha!

The girl for me...

So, after my last post, people asked what my criteria for setting me up would be. OK, I’ll bite.

First off, I’d like to point out that I don’t consider myself picky. I don’t really have any physical characteristics that are way important. Tall or Short, blonde or dark, blah blah blah. Minor exceptions would include that girls who are too skinny scare me, and she’s gotta have an attractive face. Now that can be very subjective, so we won’t go too much into that.

I like smart girls. Don’t set me up with airheads. I’m not intimidated if she’s smarter than me, but those sometimes get bored with me. Try to match us intellectually (however intellectual you think I am). I know people don’t mean it this way, but when I get set up with an airhead, I wonder what the person who set us up thinks of me.

Stronger personalities are nice. I’m friends with a lot of shy girls, but I fall for the tough ones. Not necessarily tom boys or uber-aggressive girls, but not the ones who are big wimps. Any girl who can playfully spar with me verbally usually passes the intelligence and toughness test. Note that I said playfully.

Middle-maintenance is the key. Another subjective trait, I know. I like a girl who showers, combs her hair, and attempts to look nice. But it can go too far. The girl who won’t be seen in public without makeup, always wears high heels, and freaks out if her hair gets out of place? Pass.

Activities can vary. I’ll change my routine for a girl I like. You’ve all seen me do it. I’m looking for someone who will encourage me to be better in all things, so it’s ok if she likes to do some outdoor/physical stuff. Obviously some of my favorite things are movies, games (not necessarily video games), and casual hanging out, but I am willing to broaden for the right girl. If you know someone who actually likes video games, call me. Now.

Let me know if there are any other things you’d like to know and I’ll edit this.

One other thing, just because she passes this list, it still may not be great. I know I've talked to many of you about one person in particular who seems perfect, but I just don't feel it. Not to be pessimistic, just pointing it out.

Blind Dates

"Just because I'm single and your friend is too, it doesn't mean we're meant for each other!"

Joel suggested once that I put this on a shirt. I'm strongly considering it.

Being out of college and single has put a serious cramp on my social life. Most of my friends in SL are pretty busy with kids, jobs, and death-defying stunts, while all my single female friends are in Provo. I've been going to the singles ward, but it can be hard to get involved sometimes when everyone seems to already have their group of friends there, and I have no "in" except to just force my way. Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue for me, but I just don't seem to have the energy for it the past few months.

So with no apparent dating happening on my own (hey, I went on a date in January! I'm done for the year!), people (who only have the best intentions, I'm sure) have started taking matters into their own hands.

Yes. Blind dates. *shudder* I think there should be a law that you must have a license issued by your friend/family member/workmate before you're allowed to try to set them up.

The worst are the people who set the criteria for "perfect" for me as:
1) Female
2) Single
3) Breathing
4) Human (ish)

Is it any wonder I hate blind dates? I get set up with Cheerleaders, walking makeup factories, and brain-dead shoe collectors. Girls I have nothing in common with, can't hold a conversation with, and can't have any fun with.

I would SO much rather go hang out with a group of friends who happen to have another friend there they think I should meet. A lot less pressure, and lets me decide if I want it to turn into a date.

There's no such thing as May

I think i lost a month somewhere... Between Papa's sickness/death/funeral, trying to stay sane at Mom&Dad's house, and working my tail off, it's hard to remember what day it is, let alone write about it. :)

Jim's Tag...

I finally got around to answering Jim's tag from ten years ago, which is the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle on my iPod. Here they are:

1. No Rain - Blind Melon
2. Chapter 24 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (yeah, got a lot of audiobooks)
3. They Call the Wind Maria - Paint Your Wagon Soundtrack (Clint Eastwood singing!)
4. In the End (live) - Linkin Park
5. 100 Years from Now - Huey Lewis & the News (shut up. Huey rules.)
6. Winter Weather - Squirrell Nut Zippers (from back in my swing days)
7. The King of Bedside Manor - Barenaked Ladies (It took seven to get to BNL!)
8. Spin - David Wilcox (thanks Jim!)
9. For You (iTunes Original Version) - Barenaked Ladies
10. Friend of the Devil - Lyle Lovett (Jim again)

I'm not gonna tag anyone on this, I've already been mean to the only "friends" I have :)

Unoriginal material continues!

Ok, I found this one on RoosterTeeth's website. This is a Google Image Search Game. I've entered a specific phrase into Google, and this image came up on the first page:Your job is to find out what that phrase was. Use the comments for this post, and you can ask Yes or No questions. Please no random guesses. This might not work, seeing as how few people actually read this thing, and how many quit reading because I never post, but we'll see.

By the way, I used Moderate safe search (default) and the phrase is four words, and part of a phrase I say often.

High School Quiz: tag

Ok, found this on Jason's blog. I'm gonna answer the questions, then tag a few people that I want to fill it out on their blogs. Yay, internet fun!

1. Did you date someone from your school? Yeah, Loni, Kelli, Brynn, Luke... uh.. I mean..

2. Did you win anything in Senior's Who's Who? "Most likely to take over the world" It helps to have friends on the yearbook staff

3. What kind of car did you drive? 1981 Chevy Celebrity named "Spike"

4. It's Friday night...where r u? Amy's basement for a video. Or driving around town asking each other "what are we gonna do tonight?"

5. Were you a party animal? I was a party pooper.

6. Were you considered a flirt? Yes. I was much more attractive then.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Choir, duh!

8. Were you a nerd? And freaking proud of it.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled? No, the faculty liked me too much.. I probably should have been, though.

10. Can you sing the fight song? Not high school. Jr high, though.

11. Who were your favorite teachers? Any that let me call them by their first name or a nickname. "El Barto"!

12. Where did you sit during lunch? Front/Side Lawn

13.What was your school's full name? Olympus High School

14. School mascot? Titans

15. Did you go to Homecoming and who with? Sophomore: Debbie Merrill. Jr: Mercedes Wilding. Sr: Kelli Towers

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you? I was the KING!

17.What do you remember most about graduation? Loni crying and holding my hand while we sang with Ensemble, Walking with Marti Gray to get diplomas.

18. Where did you go senior skip day? ... every day was senior skip day... 3rd Period, especially.

19 Were you in any clubs? Co-founded the math club. We ate Pie.

20. Have you gained some weight since then? Only 40 lbs or so (yeah, I'm serious)

21. Who was your Senior prom date? Amy Williams. Took my best friend instead of my girlfriend. Best decision ever.

22. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? Yup.

23. Who was your home room teacher? What's "home room" anyway?

24. Do you still talk to people from school? Pretty much all my friends are from high school...

Ok, so people to do this: Ali (not Jon), Jim, Joel, and Amy Williams. Ready, GO!


Ok, we all know I love my Mustang, but when I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago, I got to drive this:

That, my friends, is a 2008 Corvette convertible with only 200 miles on it. (about 500 when I was done) Fire-engine red, with paddle shifters for the gears.

This was also fun. In the dashboard, there's a projector mounted to display a HUD (Heads-up display) for your speedometer on the windshield so you don't have to take your eyes off the road:
Man, that thing was fun. And fast!

I got me this job...

It has occurred to me that many of you don't know what I do for a living. So here's a bit about my job.

I work for a company called My eBiz. We're a part of a bigger company called National Marketing Resources. My eBiz basically provides online marketing tools for people trying to start a business. I take care of all the web-based servers, which include our websites, email, DNS, and customer network issues.

This is Jim:

Jim is on the IT team and shares an office with me. He smells like fish and nobody likes him. (At least that's what I tell him on a regular basis)

My little workstation:

Dual monitors, docked laptop. Lovin' it!

Where the REAL work gets done...

Ok, this is really what I do all day..

The door to our office:
Yes, these signs are up all the time.

And a pic that Jim took when I... wasn't paying attention...

We're moving to a new building in a month or so, so I'll get some pics of that when it happens.

Dating Life

"Jer, if there's nothing exciting to blog about, just make up some crap. We won't know the difference, and it will keep us entertained. Plus you'll be able to feel like you have some sort of life. everybody wins!"

Sounds like my dating life. BTW, there's not much worse than going out of town, meeting a girl you find attractive, flirting a bit, then finding out she's 17. So, once I break out of the town jail and avoid the shotgun wedding, I'll post again.

Let's see, where was I?

So it was November that I posted that I would post more... and now it's January. Yay!

Well, what do you expect? My life is SO BORING that I don't even have anything to post about! But, after reading all my siblings' blogs, I decided that I am a major slacker and better put something on here.

Christmas was fun. I got a lot of new underwear and a nice jacket. It was fun to see the kids going nuts over presents (or wrapping paper, in Elizabeth's case) and just hang out together. I even went sledding with Laine and Wyatt.

Before Christmas, I was going through a rigorous interview process. One of my college friends is working for Cisco (Networking company, not food) in a program where you basically get paid to go to school for a year to get certifications, then the pay goes up and you work for another two years selling stuff. It was an awesome opportunity, but I was concerned about having to move to North Carolina and then who-knows-where for three years.

First I just sent in a resume, then there was a phone interview, then they flew me out to San Jose for the final part. In California, they had us give a 10 minute presentation, a 10 minute role-play where I tried to sell them something, and another interview. It was an all-day thing, and it wore me out. It was fun, though.

One of the things they had for us to do in between events was to visit the "Now Bus". It is a bus full of technology that they drive around the country to give presentations.

It looked pretty cool, the guys that drive it basically live in hotels and get 50 bucks per day for food. Sounds fun, but lonely.

The next couple of weeks, I'm doing some moosebutter shows. Should be fun.