Your occasional dose of cynicism and randomness.

Comments from friends and family

Around February: Hey, are you still dating that girl? You should blog about it or something

May-ish: Sorry to hear about your breakup. What's new? You haven't posted in a while...

June: Nobody blogs anymore!

August: Hear you've got a new girlfriend! When do we get to meet her?

Late October: Man, sucks that it didn't work out... you ready to start dating again?

Today: It's been almost 11 months since you've blogged. You could at least mention Vader.

So, 2010 in review: 2 short-term relationships. I ended one, I was just about ended by the other. So I got a dog. He's a miniature schnauzer, and I've named him Dog Vader, Dark Lord of the Chew Toys.I find your lack of treats disturbing.

I also ranked twice in Kung Fu. (have I even mentioned Kung Fu? I started going last December) I got my Gold (Metal) sash in April, and my Blue (Water) sash in August. I was awarded Most Outstanding Beginner student (beating the 300 pound guy and the dude who never shows up). I'm also the only Hsing-I student there, so I get quite the unique experience.

Here's little Vader..Why are you taking pictures instead of drying me off?

What the bad man did to my car...

Twas the week before Christmas, and par for the course, Jer was heading to work for his IT outsource.

Although it was Saturday, the server was corrupted. He had to fix it off hours so no work’s interrupted.

Committed to go, he jumped in his Mustang. (Although he left his key card behind- dang!)

Before very long (he hadn’t travelled five blocks), a sight appeared that made him jump out of his socks!

The car up ahead moved into the left lane, then suddenly swerved! This man was insane!

On horn and on brake, Jer pushed with his might, but the car up ahead continued moving right.

Unable to stop the upcoming ordeal, the cars met and bumped, with a crunch and a squeal.

Blood started boiling in the back of Jer’s head. His knuckles turned white, his face became red.

“My beautiful car! What has this idiot done?” Jer roared to himself. He was not having fun.

He jumped outside with a curse on his lips, when the man stepped out… with sixty inch hips.

The swear fell away, voice crumbled to dust. “I think that he’d maybe eat me if I cussed!”

The man approached Jer. “I’m sorry!” said he, “I didn’t see that island in front of me!”

“I’ll call the police, we’ll see what they say.” This is not how anyone wants to spend their day.

The cops came and went, insurance exchanged, but Jer wasn’t quite sure who it was the Cop blamed.

The process drags on, as these things sometimes will, but Jer hopes he’s not stuck with the high repair bill.

The estimate on his prize vehicle you see, is thirteen hundred, that’s a lot to me!

It may be up to three weeks before the case is settled, until then, Jer’s poor car will have twisted metal.

Your idiots are dumber than my idiots.

I had a humbling experience today.

While in the Customer Support area, installing software on someone's machine, I listened to the poor CSR next to me:

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm doing the best that I can. No, I have done this before. What I need you to do is hit the control key, then... the control key. Down at the bottom of the keyboard on the left side, there is a button that has 'C' 'T' 'R' 'L' on it. Yes. Hold that button down, then hit the 'C' key. No, 'C' as in 'cat'. Like the animal. You know, 'meow'? How about 'C' as in 'Cow'? No, it's another animal. No, not a picture of a cow, the 'C' button, like when you spell out the word, cow."

I don't think I'm allowed to get upset with the people I have to support anymore if they can put up with that kind of idiocy.

Why Jer should never be a Dad...

Is it possible that the women of the Wasatch Front can see a few years into the future?

I'm more of a lover...

Just in case you were wondering...