Your occasional dose of cynicism and randomness.

I can't do it! I don't have the Power!

I'm going to shoot someone who works at my power substation.

I've been living in my parents' basement for the last little while, and every couple of weeks, they have power issues. One week, three nights in a row, the power was literally up and down every five minutes for 2 hours.

Last night, it must have gone off again. My alarm clock has no battery backup, and it didn't go off. I sat up in bed at 10am. Crap. I also had a computer that was uploading something to a server for work. Guess what didn't finish? Yeah.

I called my boss as I was driving in to let him know I was coming... He hadn't noticed I wasn't there. I just drew attention to it.

So, two and a half hours late for work, and my upload didn't finish. I've got a headache from being stressed first thing in the morning, and now I need to work later. Fun.

Finish the Fight

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a store looking at car stereos. As I was leaving, I saw a sign for pre-orders of Halo 3. Uh, oh. I vowed not to buy an Xbox 360 until one of two things happened: 1) I could mod it like my current Xbox, or 2) Halo 3. Guess which came first?

So I pre-ordered the game. Unfortunately, I didn't own a console to play it on, so I went back a few days later and bought one. I needed something to play in the interim, so I got Guitar Hero II (fun game, btw).

Well, the day arrived, and I went nuts. Picked up the game, got some decals to stick on my 360, because, hey, why not? Played on easy and beat it in about 5 hours. (Because I wanted to see the story line)

Can I just say, best Halo ever! Loads of fun, good story, great features. I enjoyed some of the easter eggs I found in the game (RvB FTW!) and liked feeling tough as I played a game I know I'm good at.

Now it is time for multiplayer. I've been trying to get something together for some friends to come play. I want to do it at Luke's house, because he has the HD projector and central location. (Some friends are in SLC, others in Provo) Hopefully it will come to fruition this Saturday. If not, we'll still do it, but at my house in SL.


So, in response to a comment I made on his blog, Joel asked if I was being personality #1: Smart-ass. I asked if I had other personalities, and he came up with this list:

#1 Smartass Jer
#2 Rage-a-holic Jer
#3 Computer Genius Jer
#4 Jer, the Star-Crossed Lover
#5 Generous Jer, or Jer the Giver
#6 Witty Jer
#7 Lead-foot Jer
#8 Jer the Middle-Aged Chinese Woman (I've never met her personally)
#9 Jer the Singer
#10 Jer Who Does the Other Musical Stuff Like Play Guitar
#11 Surly Jer, who beats people up for insinuating he has multiple personalities
#12 Jer the Chef, specializing in cold-cuts and fast food

So I've decided to do a series of posts about these personalities. Before I do, does anyone have anything to add or modify on this list?


My family went to the State Fair last night. My siblings came and brought the kids, and my parents bought all kinds of junk food for us. It was fun. The highlight of the evening for me, however, was the Mechanical Bull. I had never ridden one before, but I think I did pretty well considering I had a headache. My brother in law tried to "spur" the thing, but ended up kicking his shoes off and almost knocked out some girl. My sister headbutted the bull on accident.

The best of all, though, was my dad. Clem has TWO hernias and a bad back. He was stiff as a board riding, and he got flung from the bull and landed about 20 feet away... just past the soft padding you're supposed to land on.

So the funeral's on Friday, and it turns out I get the life insurance money.

Just Kidding. He's fine. But it was really funny to watch a 56-year-old man with back problems trying to ride a mechanical bull and almost snapping his femur bone in half. Really, Dad. If you wanted to feel a bit younger, I'll lend you my car keys, ok?

Mail-Order Brides

Ok, according to Wikipedia:

The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that "...marriages arranged through these services [mail-order brides] would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available." [2] The USCIS also reports that "... mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year."

So... statistically, I'd be stupid NOT to do it, right?

No, just kidding. I'm not that desperate yet. I still refuse to take internet dating sites seriously. But it is surprising that these kind of marriages last more often than traditional ones. I guess that Rebekah in the Bible was technically a mail-order bride.

Is it because these women typically don't have the power to divorce in their home countries? Is it because they stay married for legal reasons but go their own ways? Or is there something we're missing?

Whatever it is, I guess I won't make fun of Uncle Bob and Aunt Anastassya anymore...


So, I've recently been turned on to a comic strip called "Basic Instructions". I love the cynical feel of the whole thing and often laugh my pants off, which can be quite embarrassing at work. Anyway, while I was digging through the archives, this one struck a chord:

I'm yellow with envy...

Ok, so I'm not the first to do this, but here's me as a Simpson's Character:


No time to post. I'm doing 120 down I-80 in my new car!