Your occasional dose of cynicism and randomness.

No, no! Anything but that!

We all have irrational fears. My greatest irrational fear is of clowns. They scare the crap out of me. People ask if it is because of the movie IT. The answer is no, but that movie didn't help things.

I had a friend once who was terrified of ovens. He had never burned himself with one, known anyone who had been injured by one, or even seen evidence of a major oven-related injury, but the things just scared him. He didn't learn to use an oven until he was 23.

As a kid, I overheard my dad talking about rats in the south, how they would climb through the pipes and enter the house through the toilet. As a result, I wouldn't sit down all the way until I was 10.

Why do we have these kinds of stupid fears? What is it about our psyche that requires us to be scared of lame things? There is no survival instinct related to my fear of clowns. If anything, I should be scared of women.

What are your irrational fears? Are they truly irrational?

The Grass is Always Greener

A strange thing occurred to me today. I'm in a good mood for no apparent reason. The stresses of work haven't subsided, I still have no social life of which to speak, and I'm still short, fat, and bald, but I'm in a good mood.

I'm used to bad moods for no reason. I seem to get one of those days at least twice a month. I'm just surly. No rhyme or reason to it.

I often wonder if I'm just a little imbalanced, or if other people have these kinds of mood swings. I know from experience that my moods can be tempered by good things happening in my life, but I have no idea why I sometimes swing from one extreme to the other.

Anyway, I hope this lasts, because being a pessimistic person with an inferiority complex is easier when you're happy for no reason. :)

..And a cup of loyalty, super-sized

I don't know what has happened to customer service in this country. It seems that nine times out of ten, some company really couldn't care less if I'm satisfied. I feel like consumers are taken advantage of all the time.

I remember when I bought a huge 64oz refillable mug to take to work with me. It was from convenience store A and had their logo on it. One day, I stopped at convenience store B for gas and to fill up my mug. The refill cost 59 cents. The clerk saw my mug and told me for the same 59 cents, they'd trade my (store A) mug for a (store B) mug, and every time I filled up at (store B) with that mug, I'd get my refills for 49 cents.

I took the deal without thinking much about it, but as I was driving away, I realized "hey, they just bought my loyalty for 10 cents of soda!"

And it was true. I went there to fill up all the time after that. It wasn't so much the money, it was that they were TRYING to get and keep me as a customer. They treated me as if my small amount of business was worth their time. As a result, I probably ended up spending hundreds of dollars on gas there that would have gone to another company... all for an offer of 10 cents off soda.

What happened to the days when companies really competed for prices and tried hard to treat customers well? What happened to "the customer is always right?" It seems that many big companies have turned the other way and have teamed up against customers as if to say "what are you going to do about it?"

I for one am going to keep looking for those customer-centric businesses and giving them my business.

Bedtime Revelations

For some people, the best ideas come in the shower. For me, they come in bed, as I'm trying to fall asleep. Laying there, it becomes easy to either disconnect from my problems and think of solutions, or to go completely the other way and feel sorry for myself.

With my recent break-up, many people have been telling me I need to find the lesson I needed to learn from it. Last night in bed, I think I found it. Simply put, I need to like me for me. I can't let my self esteem be directed by whether or not somebody else cares about me. Besides, how can someone else truly care about me if I don't like myself unless they like me which they won't because i don't like me because.... it's a vicious cycle.

Time to end the cycle. Now to think of things I like about myself... let's see.....

Oh, well. I've done enough. I'll get to that part tomorrow.



Apparently, I have some work to do... What's your zombie plan?

Brain Damage

I got in a fender-bender today. I was pulling out of a parking stall when a lady in a minivan decided to back up so she could get into the stall next to me. I had pulled out very slowly and saw her coming. I came to a complete stop, she did not.

As I watched her unabated approach, I hit my horn and held it down. She then smashed into me with her rear bumper.

We both pulled into parking stalls and proceeded to observe the damage. Luckily, it seemed there was very little, and we both decided that it wasn't worth getting insurance involved. We exchanged phone numbers just in case and went on.

So here's the thing? Why did I have the presence of mind to come to a complete stop and lay on the horn, but not to shift back into drive and get out of the way? Further, why did she have the presence of mind to see the spot next to me as open, but not see me pulling out or honking? She never even looked at her mirrors. Why do our brains do that to us?

Something about being in the moment makes those obvious decisions hard. It's easy to sit at home and belittle the people who lose at "Are you smarter than a 5th grader", but when you're the one up there in the spotlight, you lose some of that disconnect and can't think as clearly.

Funny how everyone else seems to be a moron until it's you in that position.

Real Life vs the Internet

I play a game called World of Warcraft. Now, those of you who know what this is are either shaking your heads in disgust or nodding because you play it too. For those who don't know, it is an online game where you run around as a character and complete quests, conquer dungeons, upgrade your armor and weapons, and fight the opposing faction. (Players can be either Alliance or Horde, and you're against each other)

In the game, you form groups called "guilds". In these guilds, you work together with other players. You spend a lot of time working together, and friendships can be formed.

So why do my real-life family and friends look at me funny when I tell them I have plans to go online because people are waiting for me? Is there any difference in making plans to play a game with online friends and going to the movies with local ones? It's not like I'm sitting by myself for hours on end, I'm actually interacting with people and doing something I enjoy. Thoughts?

Bees! Bees everywhere!

It's funny how people can get on our nerves and the lengths we will go to get back at them.

So, today I discovered that one of the signs for handicap parking at my building has a wasp nest in it. As I was thinking about it, I noticed that one of the guys in the office that I don't like has a habit of lightly kicking things as he walks past (doorways, poles, my chair).

So I find myself wondering: is there a way I can convince him that he hast to park in the stall next to the handicap one?

I wonder if he's allergic to bee stings....

I give up.

Well, it seems everyone has a blog these days. I've fought back and resisted, but I can't take anymore. Apparently, I'm supposed to have one to keep my "friends" informed.... I don't know who these people are, but if they're my friends, can they contact me... and maybe lend me 5 bucks?

Just kidding.