Your occasional dose of cynicism and randomness.

Join the dark side...

Obama's only hope... and mine..

If this were true, I'd vote for Obama in 2012.

I'm offended...

Many of you have seen my shirt that says: "I'm offended... I'm a BYU student" (If you haven't seen it, I have a shirt that says "I'm offended... I'm a BYU student, FYI)

It's really getting pathetic how we are offended by everything around us. (It offends me that we're so sensitive) Making matters worse are the people who are being denied the right to share their opinions because of it.

Apparrently, we're no longer allowed to fly American flags in our own country anymore. We can't show anyone who isn't white as working-class. And now there's this:

This is supposedly offensive to undocumented workers. (We have to call them undocumented workers because it's offensive to point out that they're breaking the law of the land by calling them 'Illegal Immigrants')

Ok, I admit that I can be an insensitive prick and a right-wing nut, but really? Are Mexicans Hispanics People born south of the border of the United States (verbiage changed to attempt to avoid offense) really going to decide that references about extra-terrestrials attacks on them? Can I protest Devil costumes because of the crack about Mormons having horns?

Sad, really, how political correctness means you're not allowed to have an opinion, preference, or sense of humor anymore.

I honor your offer

Well, court date came. Since many friends I've talked to about it are unfamiliar with the process, here's what happened:

First off, this wasn't actually my court date. This was arraignment, so it this wasn't where the cop had to show up or I'm off the hook. This is just where I plead ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty’.

There were about 30 defendants there, most on traffic violations, some in from the county jail on failure to appear in court, shoplifting, etc. I think one guy was on a controlled substance charge.

First, they had us sign a form informing us of our Miranda Rights and right to an attorney. Then we filed into the courtroom, and a 400 lb man walked in and announced he was the City Prosecutor, and if we planned to plead ‘not guilty’, try for a deal, or not be eaten, we should talk to him before the Judge arrived.

A few people in front of me had similar tickets to mine, and he basically told them their only option was to plead ‘guilty’ and pay the fine, or ‘not guilty’ and they'd set a court date. He told them this just by looking at their citations and not asking them anything. When it came to be my turn, he asked "What can I do for you?" (Maybe it was because I was well-groomed, wearing a suit, and not smelling of pot. Some people are just idiots!)

"I'm contesting that this took place in a construction zone," I said.

"Well, if you bring your ticket in to court, I can loo-- Oh, you have it here? Let's see.... hmm. Yeah, it does say 'approximately 11800 South'... OK. If you plead ‘guilty’, I'll drop the construction zone part of it, or you can plead ‘not guilty’ and take it to court where the officer will have to appear."

Now, I know the officer had irrefutable video evidence that I was going 76 MPH. I don't know if his video proved the improper lane change, but I figured with this offer, I had nothing to gain by going to court, so I accepted.

After a half an hour of listening to people explain why they were driving on suspended licenses, (seriously, I'm now convinced that I'm an excellent driver) It came to my turn and I told the Judge that yes, I understood my rights, No, I didn't have any questions, yes, I understood that the agreement was to the full fine without the construction zone enhancement, blah blah blah. I then plead ‘guilty’ to all charges, went upstairs and paid my $300 fine. At least it got cut in half.